Thanksgiving for Dummies...Sorry, I Mean College Professors. As every contemporary school child knows, the first Thanksgiving took place in 1621, when our Pilgrim forefathers took a break from slaughtering Indigenous Peoples to invite them to dinner and infect them with smallpox, before embarking on their mission to fry the planet so that the world would end on Jan. 22, 2031. (Copyright: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez)
Thomas Jefferson’s Complicated Relationship with Thanksgiving. Ever since Jefferson first declined to mark the day in 1801, rumors have swirled that the third president despised the event. But it was more complicated than that. For Jefferson, supporting Thanksgiving meant supporting state-sponsored religion, and it was his aversion to mixing church and state that earned him a reputation as America’s only anti-Thanksgiving president. For Jefferson, it was more important to maintain a strict separation of church and state than to cave in to the public’s love of giving thanks.The assault on Thanksgiving. An elementary school principal in Massachusetts has banned all fall holidays, saying they are insensitive. Anne Foley, the principal at Kennedy School in Somerville, Mass., sent an email to teachers warning them about celebrating Thanksgiving. Foley wrote, "When we were young we might have been able to claim ignorance of the atrocities that Christopher Columbus committed against the indigenous peoples. We can no longer do so. Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton. A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed today. The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turkey's head.