Three strikes and you’re out, Tony

fauciTony Fauci is a 79-year-old epidemiology bureaucrat on the federal payroll. So the Kung Flu is his last big hurrah before he ascends to that great petri dish in the sky.  “I’m caught up in the COVID-19 web, you know? That’s my world,” he says. “That’s my entire world.”

He’s also said, “I think you can trust me.” If you have to say that, maybe we can’t. He has adeptly positioned himself as the wise scientist in opposition to the boorish president. Yet his career isn’t perfect.

He’s let all the excitement of the game go to his head.

Strike One. He praised New York’s reaction to the virus. How in the world could he come up with that? The New York Times published a long and damning breakdown of how the overlapping and eternally feuding governments of the city and state of New York helped turn the already difficult challenge of managing COVID-19 in the country’s densest metropolitan area into the health and public-policy catastrophe we are enduring today.

Strike Two. He sucks up the attention. Career government bureaucrat Dr. Anthony Fauci went on a PR offensive this week, pushing back against officials in the White House who have tried to sideline him for repeatedly giving bad advice since the onset of the COVID-19 China coronavirus pandemic this year. Fauci did livestream interviews with Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg and Georgetown University, a TV interview with PBS and he posed for a cover shoot for InStyle magazine that accompanies a softball interview with his old Beltway insider friend Norah O’Donnell. The 79-year-old Fauci told O’Donnell he has no plans to step down because, “with all due modesty, I think I’m pretty effective.”

Strike Three. He throws a baseball. Fauci will be throwing the first pitch on Opening Day for the Washington Nationals baseball team. Fauci, who has long advocated for lockdowns, social distancing, and has flip-flopped on the efficacy of mask-wearing, was quickly criticized for the upcoming event by some on social media. Moreover, Fauci said of a football season starting up again that it couldn’t be done “unless players are essentially in a bubble.” It’s unclear if he will be throwing the first pitch from inside a bubble. Some critics pointed to the fact that the President of the country historically throws the first pitch, suggesting the team may have dodged an offer to President Trump for Fauci.

You’re out!

~ Lachrymogenic

Kung Flu Scoundrels: Take a number

Are our “betters” being deliberately stupid and obnoxious?

waltersDr. William Walters. He’s an Obama holdover in an obscure State Department office who helped cause the coronavirus crisis. President Trump had been told that nobody with the coronavirus would be flown to America. But Walters made the decision to fly back infected American passengers from the Diamond Princess. This helped spread the virus inside the United States. President Obama honored Walters for evacuating Ebola patients to the United States.

Andrew Cuomo. The coronavirus’ suspected death toll among New York’s nursing home residents exploded by an additional 1,700 fatalities — as Gov. Andrew Cuomo caught bipartisan backlash for his administration’s edict that the facilities take in COVID-19 patients. “I don’t know the details, frankly,” the governor lied. And, health care workers that came to New York to help fight the coronavirus pandemic at its epicenter will have to pay state taxes, according to the governor.

Neil Ferguson. This British scientist, whose wildly wrong coronavirus model prompted U.S. and UK lockdowns, resigned after being caught breaking social distancing rules with his married lover.

Ken Turnage. This California city official said COVID-19 should be allowed to run its kennyturnagecourse, killing elderly and homeless residents to “fix what is a significant burden on our society. We would have significant loss of life, we would lose many elderly, that would reduce burdens in our defunct Social Security System, health care cost — once the wave subsided — make jobs available for others and it would also free up housing in which we are in dire need of.” He was fired.

Nancy Pelosi. “We all have found our ways to keep our spirits up during these trying times,” she said. “Mine just happens to fill up my freezer.” The appliances, two large stainless-steel freezers, are filled to the brim with an extreme prestige brand name called Jeni’s, which is marketed largely over the internet and sells for a minimum of $12 a pint. “Nancy Pelosi remembers to stock her $24K refrigerators with $13 ice cream but forgot to restock the Paycheck Protection Program for our small businesses,” Texas Rep. Dan Crenshaw tweeted.

Alex Villanueva. The Los Angeles County Sheriff is worried that there might be a crime wave coming after he released what amounts to 4,276 inmates over the coronavirus concerns.

Enough for now. Many are waiting in the wings.

~ Excursus